Ian Tomlinson

Imago Trainer, Supervisor and Workshop Presenter

Ian Tomlinson is the Director of The Affinity Centre and a Faculty Member of the Imago International Training Institute.

He spends the majority of his professional time training and supervising Imago Relationship Therapists, and presenting the Getting The Love You Want couples workshop with his partner Joanna Groves.

He also sees a small number of individuals and couples for therapy.

My Philosophy

I came to this work as a client first. I was in my early twenties, struggling with the same patterns showing up across my relationships, and I walked into a therapist's office in Manchester not really knowing what to expect. It changed my life. That experience shapes everything I do.

I know what it feels like to be stuck and not understand why. I also know that when you get the right support and start to see what is actually going on, things can shift faster than you expect.

With couples, I think the Getting The Love You Want workshop is one of the most powerful things two people can do together. It explains so much of what happens between partners, and it does it in a way that creates hope rather than blame.

My Approach

My primary work is training therapists to work confidently and effectively with couples. As a Faculty Member of the Imago International Training Institute, I deliver the full training pathway from introductory foundations through to certification as a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist. Much of my time outside the workshop is spent supervising qualified Imago Relationship Therapists.

I also present the Getting The Love You Want workshop, which was created by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.

As a member of the Imago Faculty I have worked alongside Harville and Helen and bring that depth of experience to every workshop I present. The weekend gives couples a practical understanding of why they are drawn to each other, why conflict shows up the way it does, and how to move from frustration and disconnection towards a genuinely loving relationship. It is not therapy. Couples do not share personal material with the group. What they get is a structured, experiential weekend with tools they can use straight away.

Who I Work With

I train therapists at all stages of their Imago journey, from those just starting out with couples work to those working towards full certification and beyond. On the workshop, I work with couples at any stage of their relationship: those who want to go deeper, those who are feeling stuck or disconnected, and those who want to understand each other better before problems take hold. I also see a small number of individuals and couples for therapy. I use Imago Relationship Therapy with couples and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with individuals.

My Motivation

Seeing therapists grow in confidence and start doing really effective work with couples is hugely rewarding. I am fascinated by what makes relationships work and what gets in the way, and I find that training others sharpens my own thinking as much as anything else I do. Presenting the workshop never gets old. Watching couples shift over the course of a weekend, sometimes in ways that surprise them, is a privilege every time. I have also felt the difficulty of disconnection in my own relationships. That is not an abstract thing for me. It is part of why I do this work and why I care about it.

Further Information

I have been practising as a psychotherapist since 2008. I trained in Imago Relationship Therapy and Transactional Analysis at the same time, with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy following shortly after. That training pathway eventually led to my role as a Faculty Member of the Imago International Training Institute. I am registered with the UKCP and have written extensively about relationships, couples therapy and Imago at iantomlinson.co.uk. To find out more about training with me, visit iantomlinson.co.uk/couples-therapy-training.