Transgender and other gender identities

Transgender support ManchesterWritten by Marianne Oakes

Gender identity does not start and finish with female and male, boy and girl or even man and woman. No, gender is an expression of who we are as a person in our environment and in the wider world. Generally speaking, our gender identity is assigned to us at birth and for most, this dovetails nicely with their sense of self. However, for some people the assigned gender does not always match how they see themselves in the world. For some it is a fluid state, where they express themselves as feminine and masculine, others it is a need to move from one fixed state to another. Wherever you are on the gender scale, not ‘fitting’ your assigned gender can be a lonely and emotionally painful experience.

To experience the incongruence of being perceived as one gender and experiencing feeling of another can be difficult to explain. Talking to a counsellor can facilitate the process of self-discovery, who are you really, what are your actual needs and wants. Having the space to express how you feel, using the words that feel are right for you, can help you to untangle the confusion that can surround your gender identity. Counselling is a safe place where what you say is confidential and will not be judged and you will be treated with positive regard.

Transgender support Wilmslow

Wherever you are on your gender journey counselling can be a welcome source of support eg;

  • Dealing with the realisation that you have a gender identity issue, working through your feelings.
  • Accepting your gender identity, whatever it may be.
  • Learning to live with the whole you, weather this means transitioning from one gender to another, or being fluid in your gender identities.
  • Coming out, who are you coming out too and why?
  • And what next?

All of these and more can be difficult to navigate on your own, and trying to do so can cause mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, low self esteem.

Let’s do this together

Accepting you need help can be daunting on its own, so once you realise that this is the case that you would like support, finding a counsellor who can truly understand and empathise with you is so important. My experience of growing up with gender identity issues and finally realising I am transgender has given me a unique insight in to the feelings and emotions attached to gender related problems. I can understand the fear and the confusion, the dilemmas that we go through on our journey through life.

Please, if you feel that I could be of help and support, please contact me and start/continue your journey to a more stable you.

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Ian Tomlinson

I am the Director of the Affinity Centre and provide therapy and counselling in Wilmslow for straight and gay individuals and couples. My intention is to support you in making the changes you want in your life so you can feel happier, more contented and at peace in the world.

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